no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize