A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize