It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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