wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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