he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
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underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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