Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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