I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize