DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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