Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize