The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize