did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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