You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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