if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
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THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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