You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
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I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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