it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize