she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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