So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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