Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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