your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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