If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize