I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize