Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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