Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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