I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
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I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
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I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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