Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(618): View more from Illinois

oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.

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(618): oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me. http://tfl.nu/a68t

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(559): View more from California

That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!

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(559): That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?! http://tfl.nu/5bsv

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(469): View more from Texas

Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.

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(469): Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way. http://tfl.nu/w8yo

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(630): View more from Illinois

I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.

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(630): I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate. http://tfl.nu/tob7

Replies (18) Good night (5298) Bad night (1796)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.

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(919): It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis. http://tfl.nu/c5pc

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers

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(508): but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers http://tfl.nu/9dwx

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?

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(832): Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him? http://tfl.nu/7fnz

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(810): View more from Michigan

I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.

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(810): I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm. http://tfl.nu/2iai

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring

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(860): Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring http://tfl.nu/m17v

Replies (4) Good night (1743) Bad night (634)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is

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(814): I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is http://tfl.nu/5aqp

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I stole a fireplace last night.

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(201): I stole a fireplace last night. http://tfl.nu/uv7e

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(305): View more from Florida

I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.

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(305): I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel. http://tfl.nu/egxv

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(612): View more from Minnesota

4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.

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(612): 4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break. http://tfl.nu/kp6i

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(609): View more from New Jersey

When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.

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(609): When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/ourm

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(440): View more from Ohio

That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast

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(440): That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast http://tfl.nu/nk0g

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