apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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