All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
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When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
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You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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