hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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