I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Watching her eat just hurts me
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize