I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize