my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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