Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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