Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize