Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
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He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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