No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize