I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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