Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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