Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Enjoy the penises
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize