Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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