Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
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All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
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Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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