Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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