Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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