I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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