You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
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puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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