I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize