hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
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he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
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He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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