You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize