i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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