a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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