dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize